i hope this finds you.

we are cut from the same cloth so it's only a matter of time, right? curiosity can get the best of us haha.

i dont know when this will get to you, i wonder what stage too. are you still grieving? has the anger settled? as im writing this i still am grieving over us. im feeling a lot of things right now. i feel mad, upset, sad, confused, hopeful, and some i can't even name. but none of it makes me blame you. it wasn't fair what you did to me. i feel used, i was drained, i felt hopeless and stuck. yet, i still forgive you. i want to say i dont know why but i do. i get it. i get what its like. i was codependent on my previous ex and i know how and why it gets to that way even after countless conversations against it.

i texted you that day asking about us, not because i couldn't handle being without you, but because i trust you'll get better. i should i gave it time, knowing how i was in the past only time can fix things like this. life is really hard without you, and i still want you in it. and im also not saying im perfect. i got spiteful, when i get stressed i try to leave situations and in some scenarios that's healthy, but in others its cowardly. i shouldn't of left, i should of asked for more space. i didnt want it to be final but in my mind that was the only solution, but you still gotta think outside the box yk? i will get better in time.

so i now wonder, what is the future for us? will this message never reach you and it sits on this website until i find it again one day? will you find it and decide from there? or will we catch up one day and i remember about this and i show it to you and we laugh about how stupid this enire situation is. regardless, the best course of action right now for me is to keep going forward. i wish in the future we could be together, with two cats in the yard, but is that still a childish dream? or a sight into the future.

it's up to you. as long as you feel ready.

i love you, and will always.

- myrium.